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He thinks I'm going to go to university to meet Mr. Right. If he thought I was going just for the education, he'd disown me. Of course, it's easier hiding things from him because he lives three hundred miles away." You mean, you've been hiding yourself from him for years? He doesn't even suspect?" That's right. He's so old-fashioned, I think the shock of finding out who I really am could give him a heart attack. At first, I hid it from him because of my pain and humiliation. Now I'm using him to get through college. I'm ashamed of what I'm doing, but it's the only way I'll ever be free enough to live my own life. After I've graduated, I will tell him. No matter what the consequences." So how come you're here and not at home?" I can thank my mother for this. It's one of the best things she's ever done for me. When dad got promoted and transferred, she convinced him that I should be allowed to finish my senior year here, rather than going to a new school in a new town with all new. We figure somewhere down the road we may still dothat, but right now we felt we needed to do the world a favor and carefor a child in need.We raised our daughter with all of the love and care in the world, givingher everything we could provide. We both had pretty good jobs andcareers, a nice American upper-middle class lifestyle, so we had plentyto offer or child. The world around us wasn't 100% in our favor as it'spretty uncommon to see two Caucasian people with a mixed-race child andmy gender identity only made things that much "worse" for want of abetter word. I didn't necessarily go around advertising the story of mygender identity, but neither I nor my husband were ashamed of it and feltit was something we should hide from people. I guess there were stillsome "tells" with me and there were times we'd be asked and were alwaysopen and honest about it. By and large most people were understandingand thought it was great what we had, how found each other, and how myhusband.
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